That Bloody Girl

Alright, it's been a while, but I have been busy. Well, mostly. Five days a week at the hospital from 0630 to 1500 and four days a week at school from 1530 to 2200. So, a little busy. Anyway, I haven't had a lot to talk about. I can't really talk about the surgeries I am seeing--and I am seeing quite a few, mostly general--and there isn't a whole lot else going on in my life. I has become evident that I will need a second job. I'm going to have to pay about $2,500 to the school next semester. If I can't find some sort of supplement income via scholarship or grant, I'm going to have to make it myself. So, here's hoping I can find a part time gig that will fit my increasingly cramped schedule. Although, I really can't even begin to start looking because I am still in the orientation period at work, and I don't actually know how long that will last. Someone said something around a month, but nothing has been confirmed. Anyway, it would make it re...

Well, I orientated today. That was exciting. Actually, it was the best orientation I've ever been to--and I've been to a lot of them. The people who are in charge of training and information are exceptionally cool, enthusiastic, kind people. So, it was in fact actually very fun. That's new. I found out a lot of really cool things. Like how I will get access to a ridiculous health club and all its benefits for very cheap. And how I can pay off all of my medical bills from the last two years--EMS almost killed me, you guys. Remember that time I went to the ER? Fun stuff!--little by little and deducted from my pay check before taxes. Oh, and how my health benefits start in two weeks. WHAT?! Two weeks. So, not only are all these people crazy nice and super joyful to be working there--and, honestly, they are. Even the ED nurses I came in contact were always kind and (not happy, because ED nurses are rarely "happy") satisfied in their positions or in their place ...

One giant sigh of relief. That's what today has brought. Well...kinda. I start work tomorrow. Thank the gods, I finally have a start date. I know how much I make and when my first check is coming in. I'm pretty sure I know my schedule, but since the manager told me one thing and then the HR rep told me another, I am going to wait to be absolutely certain on how many hours I'll be getting and which days I'll be getting them. If it is the way the HR rep told me--which, I think it will be, because I think the manager worked it out to get me the most hours and thus her the most use of my time--I will have enough to survive and even save a little. But, I do still have things to pay off, so saving may not happen until I find a second job. I'm looking, but it's hard. It's mornings only and three days a week at that. Who is going to hire someone for those hours? If you know of someone, you know, let me know. Because I haven't figured it out yet. But, at least...

Today is a better day. Wednesday, not so much. I'm relearning who my friends are and redrawing the lines. I'm moving tiny steps forward, toward true independence, and as scary as that is, I'm warming up to the idea. People walk this planet talking about how they did this, how they paid for that, how they've gotten through everything on their own. But on this planet, no one is ever completely alone. No one ever does anything completely independently. Maybe you feel like you're alone at the time, but I think a wise person takes a moment to take stock of the people that are there. I know I've been going through a pretty serious depression, and for the most of it I have felt 100% by myself. But that isn't true, and deep down inside somewhere I know it isn't true, and I have tried to remember that. But it's so much easier to just throw a pity party and forget that anybody is around. It's so much easier to feel sorry for yourself. And, frankly, I'm...

Hello. How're things? Things kind of suck here. I dunno, maybe I need a new perspective. I have a job interview tomorrow afternoon for my second job. Hopefully I will get said job--she called me, about sixteen hours after I submitted the application, so I am thinking she needs some help--and hopefully I will start next week. As for the [BCH] job, I sent in all of my new hire paperwork and they sent out for my background check. As soon as that is done--hopefully sometime this week--we will schedule my physical days and then I'll get to go to orientation or on boarding or whatever it is they're calling it these days. I seriously need it to be sooner rather than later, but I can't rush the system. All I can do is sit here and wait. And maybe badger HR every now and then with phone calls. I'm sure it'll go by quickly. The issue is, will it be quickly enough? My electricity is going to be shut off on the 22nd. That's, what, two weeks? I'm screwe...

I really don't have a lot to talk about, but I have all kinds of time, and I figured, you know, I'm kind of on a roll. Filled out all of my new hire paperwork for [BCH] today. Hopefully they will get everything done ASAP so I can start and get some money. Money, oh how badly I need you. Do you ever wish we could just live in a barter system again? I assist the surgeon with removing your appendix, you give me food. Simple. Anyway, I am so very, very, very, ve-he-hery happy that I got this job, and as nice as it will be, I will still have to work a second job to pay for all of the other things in my life. Mostly school and I need to figure out a new transportation system--although, (yay) I can totally walk to work now! So that will save about an ounce of gas a day and get me some exercise. Woohoo. I probably only need another $600 a month, which I could do easily if I could just find a job that would pay me $8 to $10 an hour and let me only work Tue-Thurs. (If I don't wo...

This morning at 08:11, I woke to the sound of "I'm Shipping Up to Boston". I woke up to this song because this song is my most awesome ringtone--that I have never grown tired of, in all the years I've been woken up by it. My caller ID read [Big City Hospital] HR. Holy-sweet-freaking-Jesus. Because I just called her yesterday and didn't want to get my hopes up too soon, I tried to calm down--both from the sudden wake-up and also from the excitement rising in my chest--while I hurriedly answered. She apologized for not calling me back yesterday and then proceeded to offer me a job. With good pay. Apparently Fri-Sun 7a-7p. You guys, I am not going to lie, I almost started crying. But I held my shit together long enough to tell her I absolutely would love the job, thankyouthankyouthankyou, you're-the-best-human-ever. And then I called my mom. So, that's it, I got it. I got the job. The job that is a MAJOR stepping stone on the path that is my future. I ge...

And the freak out continues. I haven't heard from [Big City Hospital] yet, but it's only been a little over 24-hours. Apparently, though, teach is totally on my side. The way she told me, she emailed the OR sup back and OR sup replied something along the lines of "we'll give her a shot," which means I should be getting a call...right?! Except, I dunno. I mean, I don't think there are a lot of people vying for this job right now, and they have quite a few positions open--or did when I applied--and the manager was out until Tuesday this week and I was one of, if not the first, to interview this week. But, then again, it would be a lot more business-savvy to hire someone who could work all of the hours the shift covers, instead of the make-shift schedule she was musing on during my interview (again, it was really more of a meet and greet with a tour than an interview. And, I didn't even get to see the OR sup at the end of it, so I don't even know what ...

Went for my second interview this morning at [Big City Hospital]. I got to tour the ORs, which was kind of unexpected but also completely awesome. It's a 30-something OR floor and it looks like it was built yesterday. Even the locker rooms are gorgeous. Needless to say, I'd love to work there. I think any and every experience there would really prepare me for whatever comes next. It's a large hospital with a lot of staff. They tried to get me into a surgery today, but every room was in use and full to the brim with students, orientees, residents, what-have-you. Pretty much everyone who could do anything was doing it today. That's alright. The girl who gave me the tour told me I could call any time to observe, so I will probably be doing that soon. As for the job? I don't actually know. I was told second interview pretty much means you got it, and it wasn't much of an interview--more like a meet and greet with a tour, like I'd already been hired. However...

I feel like I have entered the phase of perpetual freak-out mode. Things aren't that bad yet, I am still eating and I have sent some money to appease my landlord, but that was mostly with the help of a friend, and as far as those options go, I am all out of others. Basically, if I don't get this job at [Big City Hospital] I am seriously screwed. Like, bent over the desk, Great American Challenge screwed. (Kudos to everyone who got that reference. You people are nasty.) Let's just say, Wednesday morning cannot come fast enough. Of course, then after the interview I will be freaking out about whether or not I impressed and will be checking my phone every five minutes for a missed call or new voice mail or any sign whatsoever that the Powers at Be liked me, really liked me, and are now going to pay me money to do things for them. Please let the pay me money to do things for them! I do have an interview tomorrow, too, for a home health care service. Dunno how that is going...