That Bloody Girl

Why is it that, when you give people all the room in the world, they come a sit right fucking next to you. And then they talk on their phones or make a lot of noise or get everyone else to come sit with them so they can gossip and talk shit and have serious discussions about who bought what scarf where and when they are going to wear it. I fucking hate people. Do they not see me sitting here, all serious with my books and my coffee and my face, clearly trying to get something done?! Are they trying to torture me, or are they actually oblivious to the fifteen other chairs in the area farthest away from me? Do they enjoy the hostile vibes I am sending their way? People suck. Anyway, that wasn't what I was planning to write about when I sat down, the inspiration to just hit me suddenly. About as suddenly as the chill in the air emanating from my general area hit the bitch that just took her phone conversation somewhere else. Seriously, chick, there are literally fifteen other cha...

I am not a trauma junkie. I, in no way, live from adrenaline rush to adrenaline rush. I like calm, organized, controlled trauma. I like walking into a room, knowing the plan, being in control, and having faith that I can use my training to fix any foreseen and unforeseen complications. I do not like chaos. Trauma, at least in my experience, is chaos. Inevitably, there is always a mess of bodily fluids, instruments, and varying levels of certification vying over the life of the trauma patient. Often, communication is lacking. Usually, everyone, no matter there level of experience, has already entered panic-mode and cannot be called back throughout the duration of the call. This is my experience; this is how every major trauma I have ever run has turned out. This is why I hate trauma. I wasn't made for it. Adrenaline just makes me jittery and irritated. I don't get high from it. And, yeah, some times some seriously cool shit happens in major traumas, but how often do we ge...

Well...I am actually getting somewhere with school. FOR ONCE. After I finish surg tech in December, I can transfer my credits to the community college. That will leave me with five classes left to take, fifteen hours, and I will have a associates degree in applied science. Which, really, doesn't mean much, but it's a degree, which is more than I had before. Also, for the university I want to go to, they prefer transfer applicants to have an associates. So, this is good news. FOR ONCE. I have left to take, along with what's left in surg tech: - Intro to Psych 3 - Developmental Psych 3 - Medical Ethics 3 - Political Science 3 - American History (either pre-WWII or post) 3 Which will leave me with 61 credit hours and an associates in applied science. That was easier than I thought. I enrolled in intro to psych already. It'll be online, because I am not really sure what my schedule will be in March when it starts. I AM a little worried about taking on...

Well, this looks like this is the beginning of the end of my career at my current service. I started surg tech school this Monday--and hopefully after we get through orientation, we won't have as much downtime as we have had this week, because I am about to go bat shit. I've already completed some assignments, which for this procrastinator means we really do have too much time on our hands. The schedule, until sometime in April, is going to be light for me, because I already took anatomy and physiology last semester. I don't have to come in until 18:30, which means if I could get onto another shift--one that ends, say, between 16:30-17:30--I could stay with this service until April, which would be nice for the money--although less nice on the psyche. We've been running non-stop. Some days running twelve in twelve, some only running eight to ten, but most days we don't see post. And, even when we do see post, it's from the inside of the truck, which we'r...