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Developmentally Delayed

Well...I am actually getting somewhere with school.
FOR ONCE.
After I finish surg tech in December, I can transfer my credits to the community college. That will leave me with five classes left to take, fifteen hours, and I will have a associates degree in applied science. Which, really, doesn't mean much, but it's a degree, which is more than I had before. Also, for the university I want to go to, they prefer transfer applicants to have an associates. So, this is good news.
FOR ONCE.
I have left to take, along with what's left in surg tech:
- Intro to Psych 3
- Developmental Psych 3
- Medical Ethics 3
- Political Science 3
- American History (either pre-WWII or post) 3
Which will leave me with 61 credit hours and an associates in applied science. That was easier than I thought.
I enrolled in intro to psych already. It'll be online, because I am not really sure what my schedule will be in March when it starts. I AM a little worried about taking online courses, but I figure since I am technically working on my surgical tech certification 24 to 40 hours a week this year, taking online classes probably counts for a little more.
I won't be taking any super big maths or sciences, so I guess I really shouldn't worry. Online for psych is probably about as easy as on-campus. I'm trying not to worry, is what I am saying.
I figure, if I can get a job that pays well enough and if I can force myself to be more fiscally responsible, I can finish my last 15 hours this year online while I get my 29 hours working on surg tech.
So by December I will have everything I need for my associates. And then I can spend six months working my ass off in my new field and in my old field and make as much money as I can so I can move sometime around...September?
The only thing that has me worried is my university selection. It's a damn good school and I am afraid I can't get in. Petrified, actually. I know I currently have a 4.0, and I know the likelihood of me keeping that 4.0 through surg tech and online courses is high, but I still worry. I worry about everything.
I'm a worrier.
But, my fear of failure cannot stop me from trying. I can't let it, because it has already held me back this far, and I am sick and tired of being unsuccessful just because I am afraid of failure. I want to be a doctor. I want to be a surgeon. Right now, I can probably finish my undergrad by twenty-eight or twenty-nine. This has already taken me too long. I should have figured this out sooner, but I guess when it comes to personal lessons, I am a slow learner.
Anyway, good news is good news, so I can celebrate that and get to work on making it happen as quickly as possible. I am going to apply for university as soon as I can, but it may take me a little while to get there. Fingers crossed it doesn't, but I will worry about that when I get there, right?

So, I was sick over Christmas--like, really sick--and I got myself an antibiotic and finished the full course and did everything I was supposed to, but I never did shake the cough or the stuff I was coughing up--although it did eventually look better. Well, now it looks bad again. Infected again. And it's only been a few weeks since I was sick last. What the fuck, body?! What am I going to fucking do with you?! I really don't want to go back to a doctor...I already owe WAY too much in medical bills. I really don't want to go on another course of antibiotics. Maybe it's just a virus that I can't shake? Hence why the z-pack didn't really do much? Ugh. I dunno, but I am done with this sick shit. Maybe, when I am in the OR and everything is at least surgically clean if not sterile, I won't get sick so much. I guess we'll find out. In the meantime, FUCK YOU BODY.

That's all I got for now. Bonnie is coming to Starbucks to work on invitations for her wedding. I told her I would help her out, but I have to admit, I am not at all excited. I'm really not all that girly. I don't know how I get myself into these situations....
Just trying to help a sister out, I guess.
Ah well.

Waiting on a Growth Spurt

Comments

  1. Sorry not to have been in touch sooner. Keep grinding it out. You're gonna do great and most of all no matter what STAY MOTIVATED!

    ReplyDelete

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