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What's Up, Nerds?

Long time, no see. Some stuff to talk about. Mainly:
I officially quit EMS. I am such a loser.
Okay, I don't really think that about myself, but c'mon, I know some of you are thinking that--especially those of you who work nights. What is the deal with nightshift medics? You're not cooler than the rest of us. You're not! (Okay, maybe you kinda are.) Anyway, it does kind of suck, you know, 'cause I don't have a job now. And I need that for money. And I need money for stuff. But, it also wasn't a good idea to go serve at a forty-eight hour service all burnt out and bitchy, which I totally am and am not ashamed to admit. I'm already mean--I have heard this said to me multiple times this week. Nice, huh?--I don't need to be around people that rub me the wrong way and piss me off ON TOP of having to deal with burn out whilst still working in the industry. It's just bad for everyone, especially the patients. Because, it's about the patients, you guys. THINK OF THE PATIENTS.
And, anyway, it's not like I'm getting out of medicine completely. I would/could never do that. It's a calling you guys. (Okay, NOW you can call me a loser.)
So, basically, my life is sleeping a lot, not studying at all, and applying for work in the service industry to get me through the Year Without Healthcare. (I don't actually NEED to study at this point in the game--in your faces, other surg tech students!--so that isn't, like, a sign of depression or anything. But the sleeping a lot is. So feel free to hound me on that count.)
I have a second interview with the casino tomorrow. Everybody cross your fingers, because, if I get the job I applied for, I'd make something like $11/hour plus some serious tippage, so I wouldn't have to work two jobs to maintain my Single-and-Loving-It lifestyle--which basically consists of me getting to eat take-out and buy expensive coffees. Live it up, Kid.
If I don't get the casino gig (which I am being told I will, because they are DESPERATE, and I am tots employable), I will probably freak out a little more. But at this moment, I am focusing all of my energy on keeping calm and carrying on. Because that's what the signs say.

Side Note: this fruit cup is mostly grapes. Doesn't that seem like kind of a rip-off? ONE STRAWBERRY?! Who made this thing and who do they think we are, DOGS?!
Ahem, dogs can't have grapes, so that analogy really makes them come off as cruel. RIGHT?

Anyway, I need to do some stuff that I want to do, because, you know, that's how you do it.
I read the Rolling Stone interview with/article over/thing-that-talked-about Lena Dunham and I learned that, along with ANOTHER pilot deal and a ridiculous book deal (something like 3.7 mil?--damn that brilliant woman), she has accomplished everything she's winning awards for before she was 27. Like, right now she is 26. If everything goes as planned, I won't even be a MED STUDENT until I am into my thirties. Kinda makes you hate yourself, huh?
Well, no, because she has a lot of problems even with all this success--she's all fucked up on the inside, people. And, she was given a lot of opportunity in high school and college. ALSO, she spends ALL of her time working on these things. I not only want to right and maybe do some other work in media--reserve your judgement, a girl can dream--but I also want to be a doctor. Which, kinda, a little, you know, slows shit down some. Which is OKAY. It's okay. It's alright....
I'm not doing anything wrong. Well, except, I totally am, because I want to be an author but I never write. How does that work? Am I waiting around for my magic wand that I can wave (swish and flick) and my book will materialize before me? No, I'm not, that's dumb.
So, what am I waiting for? If you have to ask, you'll never know.

So, that's stuff. That's all the stuff I got. Going to try to actually do something productive. And finish all these damn grapes.

Do What You've Gotta Do, Bitch

Comments

  1. Rider ToddThursday, 21 February, 2013

    Bukowski said it best in his poem "Don't do it" :

    http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/16549

    You'll get it. Dealing with burn out is a tough thing. Leaving the job for awhile is best as long as you RETURN to it. I did and it made me a much better EMT and motivated me to get back into school and go for my nursing degree.

    Now stop sleeping and crack the books.... study dammit!

    ReplyDelete

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