That Bloody Girl

I was pretty sure when the government took almost all of my money last tax season, that I had paid my loans off, but last week I got a letter stating that I couldn't start the financial aid process because I was in default on one or more loans. Ugh. My mom got the letter, read it to me over the phone, and subsequently tossed it--albeit accidentally--so I had to find out how to take care of it without any information directly in front of me. No internet, no working iPhone, no letter. Today, I finally got the time to look up the number and sit on the phone waiting for an operator. When he answered and I spouted off all of the information about me ever, he simply told me, "you're paid in full." What? No, they sent me a letter; told me I couldn't get aid; told me I was in default. "Looks like you made a payment in February of (some amount in the 600s)." Yeah, I thought so. You know, since I only got about $200 of that fairly large--for me--tax return....

Yesterday I took the day off and pretty much just hung out with my mom. She wanted to attend a meeting for people suffering from facial pain and trigeminal neuralgia and hear about a new treatment that's not so hard on the liver. That was interesting, seeing how the nerves in the face and neck work and why people have TN. I actually think the procedure might work, although we won't know until she tries. Hell, it may even work for my pain/headaches/back issues. On the way to the meeting, we made up a budget for me for the rest of the year. It isn't so bad, I left a little in there for some creature comforts I still want every week and I should be saving plenty, if I can just stick to the plan. That's always the issue with me. I never stick to the plan. I get bored or tired or stubborn and I just don't want to bother anymore, so I don't. And that's when I go back to spending outrageously and saving nothing and wondering why I can't seem to keep any mone...

I think my body tried to kill me. I mean, seriously, what happens when you are overworked and under-slept and that sinus problem you can't shake is getting worse but you don't think you have anymore chances to call-in at work? Your body tries to kill you. And it hurts. And it's messy--which is really a lot worse than the hurts part. I mean, ouch is ouch, but there are some things you never want to experience or you might have to kill yourself. Yeah, my body tried to kill me. But, I am not going to kill myself, because I didn't let it get that  bad. I drew the line at "ambulance", even though deep, deep down inside I wanted one. I wanted to call 911. But, then, I AM 911, so the whole idea was a little humiliating. Instead, Bonnie drove me in her personal vehicle to the ED at St. John and I proceeded to save my own life, since my body had turned on me. Apparently, I am  overworked and under-slept and what I really needed was not a new antibiotic or a bag ...

I have too much to talk about and not enough opportunity. So, here's what's happening right now: Surgical technology school is back on. In fact, apparently, it was never off. I was told  it was off, on many occasions  by the people who run the enrollment. But, as it turns out, it was never off. Yesterday, I helped Bonnie start working toward becoming a PA. She went to a very...unusual university right out of high school because her very fundamentalist parents requested she did and she really wasn't sure what else to do. So, she has this bachelors from, basically, a missionary school in, basically, home ec. As you can imagine, the community college in town and, ultimately, the university that runs the PA program she is interested in, won't take any of her credits from what has clearly been defined as a joke of a university. Well, unless you want to be a missionary or a pastor, in which case, I guess it's your place. More power to you, but Bonnie doesn't wa...

I need a hug. Not because anything has happened or because I am sad or whatever. I am just craving human contact. Some personal attention. A fucking warm, comforting hug. I'm lonely. I'm not sad today--today is a good day. I actually had a good week, for as long as it was. Worked with some wonderful people who I truly enjoy being stuck on a truck with, that made things so much better. I kind of got the day off on Sunday, and got to hang around corporate getting paid to watch Dexter. What gets better than that? I did run a little around the hospitals, and I did have to drive a firefighter home and then turn back around because the same crew that ran the code he assisted on, left their BP cuffs on scene and the fire captain picked them up. Other than that, I didn't do much, and it was good. Today is my day off this week. Bonnie is back, so after two shifts on HPC tomorrow and Thursday, I'll be back with Bonnie on our regular shift. Two weeks from to...

Haven't been around for a while--sorry about that. Lots to talk about though. First: yesterday the grass fires were so nuts, half the sky above the city was smoke and it was raining ash in the north suburbs and near corporate. In fact, there was ash on my car when I went EOS last night. The fire moved into the next county and we had to begin mutual aid to assist with some nursing home evacuations. Several of our trucks are down today because so many of our people are volunteers in the areas the fire was burning, so they were either evacuating or fighting it all night. Boomer, who lives out there, went home early yesterday to evacuate his home and then spent most of the night fighting it with the service in his town. He's okay, so's his house and his stuff--and his guns, which we know are very important to him--and is hopefully sleeping soundly. Luckily, last night, we got our first real storm of the season. It poured. At first the wind picked up and it started to dri...